Sunday, August 10, 2008

orange and yellow (the colours of heat).



My fingers smell of fresh basil and my head is aspin with thoughts. Here is the gist of them--
1) It is not a fanstastic idea for me to drink beer. My stomach feels like it is carrying the weight of five-seven unborn children, and my temples ache.
2) The new Emmylou Harris Album (All I Intended to Be) is a jewel of jewels.
3) I need to get back in touch with my creative side. Time to crack that whip and get writing again.
4) Academic advisors know shit all.
5) I am moderately adjusting to being ash-blonde. Anonymity equals comfort.
6) The time has come, the walrus said...to skinnify my closet. I am looking to downscale. Any takers?
7) I miss my family. At least, the three fifths of it that are absent. Mum, Dad, and baby Bear--your presence (or lack thereof) is noticed.
8) I cannot wait to go to Bolivia. Argentina and Brazil.
9) After 1+ years, I actually quite like my bedroom walls.
10) Ten seems like a brilliant number at which to cut myself off.

Here is the ghost of the beginning of something like a story that flowed from me 1, 2, 3, 6 months ago. I fumbled upon it in the exotic wilderness that I call my journal the other day and I kind of liked it all over again. And this is how it reads:

"The first time I met Talia, she was wearing a tattered man's dress shirt that draped down to her knees. She wandered into the dimly lit living room, eyeliner in fingers. One eye was lined with smoky black while the other lay naked, waiting to be shrouded. She tilted her head to one side, bird-like, and gazed at me with eyes that I could not depict."

I don't know. It is not the fabric of great writing, but I think it is okay. In my eyes, it is at least worth some semblance of expansion...whatever that may be. I think, more than anything, I wish that I knew that woman...my imagination's wistful love child...I feel she is an alluring mix of all that I notice and admire and desire in the passionate individuals around me. Maybe she will live, or perhaps even not. All depends on my head and my my heart space...although I instinctively want to know her better.

To any and all who were in my company tonight, apologies if I was somewhat of a dreamy presence. If I seemed gray, it is because I felt so.
I am, however, a person who channels hope. So I am doing that and I am doing it now.
Sleep, now.
Honour yourself, etc.
RB

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